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Newsletter #95: Senators beg & Amazon sellers' secret weapon
Rankster Team
March 28, 2025
Reading Time: 3 min
Readability: Grade 2 (My English teacher failed me….. pointing at you Mrs. Boulle 🫵)
The weekly newsletter more direct than those "final final FINAL sale" emails... we don't need to send you 47 reminders
In this edition:
⏱️ CLOCK'S TICKING... Senators beg Trump for TikTok lifeline!
😴 MEME DROUGHT...TikTok's Meme Apocalypse is Here!
🤫 YOUR SECRET WEAPON.... Amazon sellers sleeping on TikTok gold?
💰 TIKTOK'S CASH REGISTER... Opens Wider for Merchants!
⬇️ Let’s get started.....
⏱️ CLOCK'S TICKING
Senators beg Trump for TikTok lifeline!
TikTok Ban: The Clock is Ticking ⏰
Democratic senators want this extended officially until October. This isn't just another empty threat - the law is already passed and ticking like a time bomb.
The Real Deal 💣
Foreign entities must own less than 20% and surrender algorithm control. China would rather eat glass than agree to these terms.
TikTok execs are already abandoning ship while the company runs desperate emotional ads and even tries flattering Trump directly. Talk about throwing everything at the wall! 🤦♂️
Smart Seller Moves 🧠
Keep crushing it on TikTok Shop while your competitors panic. Download your affiliate data NOW and diversify without abandoning the platform.
In the gold rush, the real winners aren't the panickers. They're the ones who stay calm and snatch market share while others flee. 💰
Remember: TikTok is the cockroach that can't be squashed... They always find a way.
😴 MEME DROUGHT
TikTok's Meme Apocalypse is Here!
The Great Meme Depression of 2025 😱
TikTok is in a meme crisis and creators are losing their minds. The platform that lives on viral trends is facing an unprecedented content drought... and it's only March.
We're officially in the "Great Meme Depression of 2025" folks. No new original memes since March began - and TikTokers are making the drought itself into content.
It all kicked off when @goofangel dropped a video on March 10th claiming "Nine days into March and we haven't had a single original meme." That video hit nearly a million views faster than you can say "algorithmic burnout." 🚀
What's Going On? 🧠
October to February gave us an absolute banger run of memes. Remember when everyone was "holding space" and collectively joining Red Note? Those were the days...
But now? Nothing but recycled content and weak attempts at virality. Even the "I Call Patrick Subaru" trend everyone's clinging to actually dates back to 2021. Talk about desperate times. 🤬
The Meta Meme Moment 🔄
In typical TikTok fashion, the crisis has become the content. Users are flooding feeds with Great Depression photos captioned "How the March Meme Drought will be described in history books."
Others are posting influencer faces with: "When mfs say they grew up poor but never had to live through the Great Meme Depression." The irony is thicker than an Amazon FBA course ad. 👊
What This Means For Your Brand 💰
The trend machine is officially broken. With the algorithm demanding fresh viral content at impossible speeds, we've hit peak saturation.
Maybe this is our sign to touch grass for a minute. Or better yet, use this weird content vacuum to drop something genuinely fresh that breaks through the noise.
Remember: In the attention economy, a drought creates opportunity. While everyone's complaining about no content, you could be the one to end the drought.
🤫 YOUR SECRET WEAPON
Amazon sellers sleeping on TikTok gold?
Amazon Posts: The $0 Growth Hack You're Missing 🤫
Amazon sellers are leaving money on the table by not using TikTok Shop content for Amazon Posts. This is the most underrated growth hack in e-commerce right now.
Your TikTok content can reach OBSCENE amounts of impressions on Amazon for FREE. Not only do social posts index, but that keyword-rich data feeds Rufus and helps Amazon recommend you more often.
Every Amazon seller knows they should be using 'Amazon Posts'….. it won't bring in a ton of sales, but it will bring sales (think of it as the 'PPC Auto Campaign at 1c-2c bids').
The problem with Amazon Posts? Most sellers don't have enough content to create them. But using TikTok Shop, you can use all your affiliate content in your Posts - game changer!
Screenshot from 2 of our clients
🔥 DON'T WAIT - THE WINDOW IS CLOSING 🔥
TikTok's rolling out auto-optimized samples. Soon, you won't even choose which affiliates get your products - the algorithm will decide who's worthy.
The smart money is moving NOW while most sellers are still frozen in fear. Unlike Amazon's early days, this window won't stay open for years - it's months, maybe weeks.
The writing's on the wall. The wild west days are over.
💰 TIKTOK'S CASH REGISTER
Opens Wider for Merchants!
TikTok Shop Just Changed the Game 🚀
Smart+ campaigns now handle BOTH website and app conversions in one go.
GMV Max just got supercharged with automatic affiliate content integration and LIVE shopping features. The AI is literally outperforming human media buyers.
Their new "product-to-video" tool turns your basic product info into TikTok-ready content INSTANTLY. Early Amazon PPC vibes, anyone?
The numbers don't lie: TikTok users have TRIPLED monthly since launch, with 62% following product links and 1.8x more conversions than other channels.
While your competitors fight over Amazon PPC scraps, the smart money is setting up shop on TikTok.
That's it for this week 👊
But I need to ask a favour...
What did you think of today's newsletter? |
Thanks for reading.
- Paul
PS…. Want to use TikTok Shop for your business? Let’s chat
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