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Newsletter #87: TikTok's Revenue Rocket

Reading Time: 3 min
Readability: Grade 2 (Writing at my emotional intelligence level)
The weekly newsletter that's surviving better than TikTok.….. we’re like your Nokia 3310, we just won't die

💰 Want to know what your competitors don't want you to know?
In this edition:
🚫 TIKTOK'S LAST DANCE?... Congress Gets Spicy!
🤑 MONEY TALKS.... Is Your TikTok Shop Listening?
💰 MAX OR NOTHING.... TikTok's Money Printer Mode!
Let’s get started.....
🚫 TIKTOK'S LAST DANCE?
Congress Gets Spicy!

ByteDance has until January 19th to sell TikTok, or 170 million US users get cut off. No maybes, no what-ifs.
Here's why everyone's losing their mind:
The courts just unanimously said "Yeah, this is totally constitutional." That's lawyer-speak for "This is actually happening, folks." 🤯
The numbers are wild:
5 million businesses could lose their revenue stream overnight.
TikTok Shop sellers who saw 400% growth last Q4? They're sweating bullets right now. 💦
But here's the plot twist that's making my head spin: Trump (yeah, THAT Trump) is now playing defense for TikTok. He takes office ONE DAY after the ban deadline. You can't make this stuff up!
Here's my no-BS take: TikTok won't die. It's too big to fail.
What we're watching is the world's most expensive game of chicken between the US and China. Think TikTok with a Stars-and-Stripes paint job. 🇺🇸
Smart money moves while everyone's panicking:
Keep running your TikTok Shop campaigns (your competition's fear = your opportunity)
Download your affiliate data NOW
Build backup plans, but don't jump ship
A week later, we're still waiting for updates.
But remember: In every chaos, there's opportunity. While others panic, the real players are positioning themselves for what comes next.
This cockroach won't die... it'll just get a makeover. 🪳
🤑 MONEY TALKS
Is Your TikTok Shop Listening?

Let's cut the BS - you're crushing sales on TikTok Shop, but here's the uncomfortable truth: You probably have no clue if you're actually making money.
Here's what's keeping me up at night: 90% of TikTok Shop sellers are just vibing and hoping for the best. They're watching those sales roll in like it's free money... but it ain't. 🤦♂️
The Hidden Money Killers:
Platform fees eating your lunch
Affiliate commissions that make Amazon look cheap
Fulfillment costs that nobody talks about
Returns that hit harder than a hangover
Listen up: Remember all those Amazon sellers who went bust because they couldn't do basic math? TikTok Shop is that story on steroids. 💊
But I've got your back. I built a P&L tracker so simple my dog could use it (okay, he's a pretty smart dog). Just plug in your numbers and get the reality check you need.
🥷 Ninja Move: Check your numbers weekly. TikTok Shop moves faster than your ex finding your replacement.
Don't be the seller bragging about 6-figure months while secretly bleeding cash. Get your numbers right, or get ready to join the "I Used to Be a TikTok Shop Seller" club.
💰 MAX OR NOTHING
TikTok's Money Printer Mode!

GMV Max Just Got Maxier: The "Max Delivery" Secret Weapon 🚀
Remember when I said GMV Max ads were a game changer? Well, TikTok just dropped an feature option called "Max Delivery" - and it's exactly what it sounds like. They're throwing ROI out the window and going full beast mode on sales.
Generally, GMV Max ads will only spend if it can reach your ROI target….. but now you can force it to spend a fixed amount per day (your ROI may decrease whilst your sales increase 🚀).
Think of it like switching your Tesla from "eco" to "ludicrous mode". Your wallet might cry, but your sales will fly. 🏎️

Here's the no-BS breakdown:
Target ROI mode = The responsible adult
Max Delivery mode = The YOLO teenager with dad's credit card
When to hit that Max Delivery button:
Launching a new product
During mega sales (hello Q4!)
When you need to clear inventory faster than your ex clearing out your apartment
🥷 Ninja Budget Tip: Start with 10x your average order value as daily budget. Want to go bigger? Cool, but increase by 30% daily. Don't be that guy who goes from 0 to 100 and wonders why their ROI looks like a failing student's grades.
The Catch? Your ROI might swing more than a pendulum. But if you're after pure sales volume and don't mind throwing money at TikTok like it's confetti - this is your jam.
We will be creating a case study around this…. make sure to look out for that
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